Dear Subscriber First Name,

A friend texted me yesterday and said she’d just done something scary.

As I waited for her elaboration my mind went to physical danger.

Then she sent me a screenshot from a text convo with a salesperson for a public speaking educational program…

…the guy had been pretty annoyingly and aggressively trying to get her to sign up for the program, and she sent a simple and cordial text letting him know she wouldn’t be moving forward.

I of course began with an “ew” to pushy marketing tactics, and then asked her what was scary about that?

She said it was scary to say No.

I was honestly stunned. This friend of mine is fkng fierce. She’s an activist and educator, a strong communicator, and I mean…the text was so…nice!

(try to throw pushy marketing tactics at me and prepare to read a different story)

ANYWAY,

This exchange got me thinking about how common it is that people have a hard time saying No.

Yes, I get it. Yes, the origin of the challenge typically comes from childhood trauma/programming. Yes I have FIERCE compassion for this (i.e. I feel immense tenderness and care for the healing journey that enables one to express their authentic truth)…

and…

I am passionate about empowering the NO in us all!

I HONOR your No! I celebrate your No. I understand your No because I understand and honor my own.

I want to be a person that others can feel safe to say No to.

Not into something? Do I say something that doesn’t resonate with you? Want to do something different than what I suggest?

Sure, my ego might take a moment to register that you feel differently than I do, but don’t worry- I can handle that transition, because —

♡ The No in me honors the No in you ♡

It’s always been easy for me to say no…and honestly often I get to my Yes’s by knowing my No’s first. You might not operate that way…but there’s always a Yes on the other side of a No…and tuning into my No’s and investigating further has been a way I’ve gotten to know myself over time.

(and of course, as we are ever-evolving beings, our Yes’s and No’s change over time! So it’s so valuable to tune into what feels true to us moment to moment so we’re not living from a past version of ourselves.)

Strengthening my NO empowers me to stand up for what I believe in, have healthy boundaries and ultimately have healthier relationships.

If you ever know you have a No on the tip of your tongue that wants to come out, but you’re feeling fear, feel free to imagine me right there with you, having your back and encouraging you to speak your truth.

a song for you

Much Love,

your fierce and tender companion,

♡ mari mu

www.mari.mu