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Although, I’ve written this a few days in advance, and right now as you read this I’m on a retreat on the coast in NorCal with a bunch of strangers and one friend. I was really excited when I became aware of this retreat as it felt like the perfect way for me to spend my special day. Everyone who is close to me knows that I’m… “unique” about my birthday. I used to say I was weird about my birthday but unique is feeling more true. It seems that most people really enjoy a lot of attention on their birthday and to bring all their friends together, but for me that’s never been quite right. For me, that can feel kind of stressful and overwhelming. I’m often super emotional and tender on my birthday, and it’s in a way that can be hard to explain to others, esp when they’re so enthusiastically wanting to make me feel special and loved, and yet I’m moving through my annual medicine-free birthday journey where on the inside I’m full out ceremony — all the to do’s and the figuring out how to make life work put down for the day — and I have this pristine breathing room with only focus: to honor my aliveness. and with that, full spectrum feelings SWIRL. Over the past years, there have been some times I’ve really enjoyed spending time with friends on my bday, and I’ve also spent many birthdays alone, perhaps in nature, being in my own private sacred space. Last year was a really special one — I facilitated my first group journey for a beloved group of women that I’d been meeting with for months — none of them knew it was my birthday til the end of the day and it was a very sweet and sacred secret that I held all day. I felt so proud of myself for the magical container I’d envisioned and brought to life for and with these women…I had put so much love and care into it all, and it felt like one of the most “me” creations I had birthed. So — SPECIAL BIRTHDAY. This year, apparently, is also a…SPECIAL BIRTHDAY!! Cuz i’m 40 !!! and I’m enjoying honoring it, making some meaning of it. Some Life has officially been Lived, I’m in a pretty healthy place with myself, and with a cross country move on the horizon, I know that this is going to be a year of so much big change. So, to mark this special birthday, I’ve decided to request a gift! Nope, not words of affirmation, not a donation to a charity in my honor, not flowers, nope. If you would like to make a donation to my birthday gift, a custom painting by Honeycomb Daughter, I would truly love it. All of the contributors names will be written on the back of the piece, so that forever and always I can carry you all with me wherever I go, hang you on my wall, and remember you!!!
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