Dear Community,

Warmest wishes to you in these strange times. I saw a twitter post the other day that said: “Babe what's wrong, you don't like pumpkin spice wartime election eclipse hurricane season?". My heart breaks every day for all the pain.

What can we do about IT ALL? We can find our ways to help one another, of course and unavoidably, starting with helping ourselves to find our way back to Love, to make choices that support our vitality so that we can show up in the world in a good way. Every day is an opportunity to make our way back home to our hearts and our most loving expressions inside and out.

Lol, and I came on here to tell you about having my ego obliterated in a psychedelic deepdive but I guess this is par for the course, less than 48 hours after a ceremony and I’m on a COME BACK TO LOVE pedestal.

I’ve been a psychonaut for 21 years now. That’s more than half of my life. I have a lot of experience with some compounds, and way less experience with others.

A couple nights ago I had my 3rd ever experience with 5meo-DMT, otherwise known as The God Molecule.

My prior ceremonies were 6 and 10 years ago, and hold no candle to what I got to experience on Tuesday night. For a lot of different reasons…but I’ll start with probably the most real/important one: I really wasn’t ready before.

…and in saying that, I feel no judgment toward these younger versions of myself, it’s just the reality that as we walk paths of deep vulnerable personal exploration and growth, it’s an evolutionary process and over time we grow our capacity to experience ourselves and life more fully.

I’ve had clients who take other medicines in my care, who have had “subpar” experiences- perhaps they barely feel any effects, or they don’t go where they were wanting to go. Considering I have always experienced and witnessed many others taking the same exact compounds, the reality is…it’s not about the medicine, it’s about them. and it can be a hard pill to swallow for someone in deep pain, desperate for relief, and coming to a ceremony seeking a transformation….to not get what they came for, what they read about, what their friends have experienced.

It is of great value for us to enter these entheogenic voyages with levity, curiosity, self-responsiblity and openness to whatever arises. If we don’t, we might miss out on receiving whatever gifts, insight, information, teachings might be available in the moment.

So this past Tuesday, I knew before my medicine sister + friend arrived, that I was ready.

I’m really warming up this email as if what’s to come is an elaborate expression of WHAT IT WAS LIKE AND WHAT I GOT OUT OF IT, and just quick spoiler alert, when it comes to the actual experience, I’m going to have to leave it at one sacred WOW. and leave it at that because truly, the words just can’t touch it.

So anyway, as a medicine facilitator/guide/doula/companion myself, it really is such a treat to be on the receiving end of someone else’s care + unique offering. I also felt really lucky that I’ve known this woman for 10 years. I’m always aware of that with my own first-time clients…that we are so new to each other!…so we do our best to cultivate trust as best we can, but I will say it really just feels so special to journey and open with someone we have built some relationship with.

I felt mostly relaxed when she arrived, with the usual subtle nervousness that precedes a special experience like this.

After some preparatory practices (my favorite being a breathwork exercise that really helped my body get ready), I climbed onto the launchpad, and with as much trust as I could muster, inhaled, leaned back, and opened up into the Beyond.

Absolutely unreal. (i.e. fully real!!! actually happened!!!)

Like I said:

WOW.

I’ll tell you one thing. I really needed this. and I knew it. To have my ego dissolved and reconstituted is not something I always feel called to ;) , but DAMN I am grateful.

FULL SEND.

I’ve never used that phrase before lol, but as I was coming back into the room that’s literally the phrase that came to my mind 😂 … yup, Mari Mu got fully SENT on Tuesday and it’s feeling like that’s a good thing for not just me, but I’m feeling some freshness that can help me continue to share and evolve my gifts and offerings to the world.

My friend who facilitated gave me the good ol reminders after I had come out of the experience that I would be more sensitive in the days after and to be mindful about what I consume in the days after. In her words, “avoid low vibration, take in high vibration”… of course this invitation/reminder is available to us every day, though psychedelics can open doors that can be ceremonial openings to healthier patterns if we choose.

Last night (24 hours post ceremony) I received a subtle bodywork session by my friend Rachel with whom I do a monthly trade…my intention for the session was to connect with the medicine experience, and it was absolutely stunning.

I can’t say enough about the power of receiving subtle bodywork after any kind of big experience as part of the integration process, whether the big experience is ecstatic or challenging.

I’m sending you all a ton of love.

If your nervous system could use some comforting, settling, loving support, come see me for a craniosacral session. Add a sauna if you’re into it! Book here

Feeling ready for your own deep dive with one of the medicines I work with? Let’s connect

with you + with love,

mari mu ♡

www.mari.mu